If the argument by a section of feminist society is true, that
all women are born feminist, then by
that simple definition then I do not qualify to be one, nevertheless I will
leave it for you to judge after reading this short read.
I have been following the just concluded/disputed Kenyan elections
with lots of interest. The dismal ratio
of men to women elected into different posts goes ahead to show without an iota
of doubt we still remain a male dominated society.
One story that has caught my attention is the election of Ms
Peris Pesi Tobiko as the first Maasai woman as a member of parliament in the
history of Kenya. I take cognisance that it has been argued in different forums
that she is no ordinary woman among the Maasai probably because of her lineage
or such. I will not concentrate on those small details but I will reserve my
energy on the issue of man/woman relationship with power by bring in a small highlight of
the Maasai community in the background.
Historically the Maasai people as it has been the culture of
many African communities has always given women a low-deal. Women have been
left to bear children, bring them up, cook and watch over the household while
men deal with more ‘important ‘matters that concern the wider community. Over
the years, this position has been challenged by many and in different cultures
and I can attest to the fact we have recorded tremendous improvement,
nevertheless some communities still hold dearly that, power is a preserve of
man and a taboo for a woman to even dream about it.This led me to ask why is it man has always treated the
woman so badly in some cases to even being violent to her which led me to some
interesting findings!
How do we define
masculinity? The Crisis of masculinity starts from the definition. It is how we
define ourselves as men and how we can construct the idea of who we are only in
relation to power. The question of masculinity I would argue is at the heart of
gender violence.The crimes against women are not a problem of women but a
crisis of how we define ourselves as men. In most societies we think the way
that we construct our manhood must be one which perceives women as either the
object of our needs and desire on one hand or in the other hand construction of
women as mothers, as sisters or daughters to almost making them sacred. In so
doing we are caught in thinking that women are inferiors be it in spiritual or
cultural contexts.
In recent years we have been involved in gender equality but
it just go into putting one gender on a pedestal. The only way to create the
sense of the other as truly human is to acknowledge that the other person has
power contesting the same thing as you are. How then do we deconstruct this
problematic masculinity into realising that empowerment of women is empowerment
of men too!! The struggle for gender justice, equal relationship should be not
be as a favour for one that is struggling under my construction but for
ourselves as men! Struggle for women justice should be struggle for making men
more human!
What happens when a boy wears pink? What happens when a boy
want a toy that is considered feminine? Stop behaving like a little girl! He is
mocked. I pose and wonder is that not the beginning of brutalising the little
boy and teaching him very hard and aggressive definition of masculinity.
All these contribute
to the construction of very harsh understanding of what it means to be a real
man! When we deny our own gentleness , compassion, emotions, our own ability
to cry it results into a much harsher society and it becomes easier to impose
these stereotypes on others making them vulnerable to our own crimes!
